The Enterprise Of The Typical MarySue
by Retro Soul
Summary: A parody of all the outsiders cliche Mary-Sue stories on here. I dont do this to flame, hopefully it will help some people and show them how to not write their fan fictions.
1. Introducing our Mary Sue

**So this idea popped into my head and I figured, why not? Most, if not all, of my stories are either drama or horror so I figured I'd make something a little on the humorous side. This isn't to flame, I decided to make a parody of all those Outsiders Mary-Sue cliché stories here on fan fiction. I'm not trying to mock anyone in particular, making a Mary-Sue story is often an honest and amateur mistake. In fact, my very first story on here had an OC who was a Mary-Sue and I deleted it and the criticism people gave me really helped me to not make that happen. SO, at the end of each chapter I'll point out the things wrong and tell you how to perfect it but in the mean time, it might come out to be quite humorous to those who recognize Mary-Sue stories and try to correct them as I do. So I present to you, The Enterprise of the Typical Mary-Sue.**

My name is Riley Anderson, but I go by Riles or Andy. I'm 16 and I just moved to Tulsa. My mother is dead and my father is a drunk and is abusive; he doesn't give a crap about me. I was really sad to move to a new place but I had to or my dad would beat me. I have long golden blonde hair with shimmering sea blue eyes. I'm super tough so I'd suggest you don't mess with me. I'm stronger than most boys my age and I never back out from a fight. I'm also really nice when I want to be. When my friends are around, I'm the sweetest I can be but when I'm face with my enemies, I turn into a beast and I can beat anyone.

Me and my father had just moved into our new house an hour ago he was already out at the bar. I was left to take to the streets and find my own amusement. As I walked the paved sidewalk with my black converse slapping onto the cement, I noticed two diverse groups of people. One group seemed to be dressed well, clean cut and drove fancy cars. The other wore leather jackets and grease in their hair. They smoked cigarettes and their cars seemed to be junky and old.

I got lost in thought and bumped into someone, sending me flying to the ground.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me help you up." the boy exclaimed, extending a hand towards me. The boy was insanely handsome with bronze greased back hair and dark brown eyes that ran deep. I shook slightly as he helped me from the ground. "I'm sorry." he apologized again.

"It's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going. It wasn't your fault." I assured him, resisting the urge to smile at his beautiful face. It was then when I noticed a group of boys behind him with grease in their hair as well.

"These are my friends," he said, gesturing to them. "That's Ponyboy and Darry, my brothers, and then there's Johnny, Two-Bit, Dally and Steve. And I'm Sodapop. We're all greasers."

"Oh nice to meet you all. I'm Riley." I introduced myself.

"Hi, Riley." the whole gang greeted me.

"We're headed over to the nightly double." Soda said. "You want to join us?" I felt myself blush as I smiled and nodded my head. These guys seemed really nice. As we walked on down the street, I felt something warm brush against my hand. I looked down and it was another hand. I followed its arm and it led up to Soda's shoulder. I blushed even more and let him hold my hand.

When we arrived at the nightly double, there were tons and tons of teenagers. A lot of them were greasers like the gang but I saw some of the other types of teens. "Who are those people?" I asked Two-Bit once we had gotten our seats.

"They're Socs, the rich kids. They always go around beating up us greasers and they do it just for fun. They beat Johnny up really bad a couple months ago." he replied, his voice sounding saddened. That's why Johnny looked so lone and hurt. It must've been because of that. "I suggest you stay away from them if you don't want trouble." Two-Bit added.

"Why? I'm not scared." I exclaimed as I rose from my seat and spotted a group of Socs. "HEY, ASSHOLES, I'M OVER HERE!" I yelled.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dally exclaimed, pulling me down into his strong arms.

**So I'm going to stop the chapter there because I think we all know what's going happen next. So I'll start from the beginning.**

**1. Her name. Riley? Girls didn't really have names like that in the 60's. Its more of a modern name and it's a unisex name. Often in Mary-Sue stories, the OFC's name will be a modern name and quite inaccurate to the time period. Also, introducing herself in the first paragraph of the story. That is often a turn off and just shows that it's an amateur story.**

**2. The story lie. We've all read these before. The girl moves to Tulsa and instantly becomes friends with our beloved greasers. It's a cliché storyline and there must be about 10 of those out right now. USE YOU IMAGINATION, PEOPLE!**

**3. Her family. Her mother is dead and her father is an abusive drunk. It's usually the same with every story. Some families are actually like that but somehow that's become the branded family story for Mary-Sues.**

**4. Her looks. Here's a good one. Alright people, these girls are NOT BARBIES! Although people might like to think that their OFC's (which are usually self-inserts) are flawless and look like dolls, no one looks like that in real life. **_**L**_**o**_**ng golden blonde hair with shimmering sea blue eyes **_**? That's a perfect example. Sure there are certain people who have blond hair and blue eyes but its not that common. Seeing as the human race generated from the middle east where the genetics are usually brown or black hair with brown eyes, most of the human population have dark hair with dark eyes. Blue and green eyes have become more common in the past few centuries but brown eyes are still dominant. Sorry, just gave you a mini history lesson there xD**

**5. Her masculinity. Ok, a lot of Mary-Sue stories have their OFC's being insanely strong yet sweet and kind. I'm not saying its one or the other but back then, girls weren't tough like they are today. Girls were expected to cook, clean and go to school. Just saying.**

**6. Her clothing. I didn't add really any description to her clothing in this chapter besides her shoes. In Mary-Sue stories, or in just some normal stories, they go into insane detail about what the character is wearing. I don't know about other readers, but I usually don't give two shits about what the character is wearing! If it's important to the characters role, then sure, you should add it. But if you're going to go into three paragraph detail about what your character is wearing just for the sake of it, its really unnecessary.**

**7. Meeting the gang. This is one of the parts in Mary-Sue stories that really pisses me off. First of all, someone (like in Soda's case) wouldn't be so overly friendly to someone they just met and introduce them to all their friends just because he bumped into her. As nice as Soda is, he'd probably just help the girl up and be on his way. Second of all, the gang HAS LIVES, YOU GUYS! What, did you think that they had nothing better to do than hang around with each other all day, everyday? It'd be unlikely that they'd ALL be together, walking down the street and instantly like this random girl and invite her to a movie. And girls, would you just go with a group of **_**guys**_** to the movies because they looked **_**nice**_**? I don't think so. There's this thing, its called rape. It's what happens to girls who go off with random guys who they've just met. I'm not saying the gang would do this, we know they wouldn't but the OFC doesn't know that.**

**8. Soda making a move. Yeah, its cute, but honestly, its unlikely that you'd try to hold a girl's hand (if you're a guy) after just meeting her three minutes ago. (Unless you were super horny and really wanted to get some.) Just saying.**

**9. Riley randomly cursing at the Socs. Honestly, people. Did the Socs ever do anything to her? No, all she knows is that they beat up Johnny who she's only known for about 20 minutes and hasn't even talked to for that matter. In this case, I'm going to go out on a limb and say Riley's got some major balls. You've got to, to do something as gutsy as that. **

**Well that's it for this chapter. Please R & R tell me your thought. Thank you for reading!**


	2. An unlikely quarrel

**Wow, you guys, I wasn't expecting so many reviews, thanks so much! Just want you guys to know that I read every single one and you guys are so nice (:**

"Let go of me," I said, struggling against Dally, although secretly liking the feeling of being in his arms. But he was too late in trying to save us, the Socs were already headed towards us.

"What'd you say, Grease?" One of them sneered at me as they got right in my face. I wasn't scared at all.

"Just leave us alone, Bob." Dally grumbled, finally letting go of me and letting me stand up with the rest of the gang.

"You want a fight, you got it," Bob said, pushing Soda back. That made me mad, no one should push Soda.

"Hey! You leave him alone!" I shouted, pushing Bob back. He looked shocked that a girl would have such nerve to push him around.

"You're lucky you're so pretty or I'd punch you, grease." Bob then grumbled. I was taken aback. He thought I was pretty? But it didn't matter, he was a Soc and I was a greaser girl, we could never be together. From then, a fight was declared.

We made our way from the Drive In to the lot, the two Socs following us. Soon, others were joining them as their group accumulated to be larger than ours. "Great, what're we going to do now?" Johnny whispered to me, holding onto my arm for support. He seemed pretty scared, it must've been because of his previous encounter with them.

"It's going to be ok, Johnnycake." I whispered to him and put my arm around him. He seemed to let his tensed muscles relax.

When we got to the lot, a different Soc stepped forward. It was assumed to be Bob's friend.

"Let's get this over with," Darry grumbled.

"Alright. Bob's making a deal with you greasers. If you win, we leave you alone for a couple weeks and you guys get to keep your lady friend. If we win, Bob gets the girl." Bob's friend informed us. We had to win! I couldn't let myself be a girlfriend of a Soc.

"You cant take Riley!" Soda cried out.

"So she has a name," Bob murmured, smiling at me. Right before the fight began, I grabbed Soda's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

"For good luck." I told him. He then did the same to me. I felt myself blushing and I was ready for a fight. However, a large Soc came up to me and punched me hard in the face and slammed his fist into my gut, over and over until I passed out.

When I awoke, I was met with the sight of the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Soda was smiling down at me. "Where am I?" I asked, sitting up. The whole gang was circled around me and sighed.

"You passed out last night after that Socs beat you real good so we brought you back here. How do you feel?" Two-Bit called out. I heaved a sigh, my gut hurting tremendously when I did. I simply rolled off the couch and yawned.

"Can someone take me home?"

**Alright get ready for some grade A bitching.**

**1. Riley standing up to the Socs. Its all through this chapter. Shall we go back to the "I'm such a badass" factor? While girls today may be like that, it was highly unlikely for a girl back then to carry on like that, especially to some random dude who she's just met and really has no quarrel with.**

**2. Bob's attraction to Riley. Alright, people, lets be honest here. I see this all the time in Mary-Sue stories, the rival Soc will have a thing for the OFC, thus, him always bothering the greasers for the girl that is OH, SO PRETTY! Come on, now.**

**3. The whole Johnny incident. Alright, I'm going to take a chance here and say that Riley, just like many other Mary-Sues, is out prowling like a cat in heat, looking for any guy to get their nasty little hands on. Don't believe me? Lets check the statistics, shall we? In the last chapter we saw her supposedly attracted to Soda, and him to her. In this chapter we see her enjoying being in Dally's arms, consoling Johnny in a very close way (while also calling him JohnnyCake after just meeting him about an hour ago and, for all we know, this is her first time talking to him. Would you be that close and kind to someone you just met, not to mention, from the opposite sex?), and then we see her defending Soda and kissing him before the rumble. While her choice in men are quite divine, I will admit, she needs to focus on one man. Another common characteristic of a Mary-Sue: slutty whore bitch. Who looks like a Barbie, I may add. More description of her PERFECT body is soon to come, thanks to femaletwo-bit for the idea ;D **

**4. Bob's proposal. You win, you keep the girl, we win, we get the girl. Do you really think they'd fight over some girl who, yes I do repeat, they just met? I've read many Mary-Sue stories where they have a fight over the OFC. Very unreal.**

**5. The kiss. It was cheesy, uncalled for and unbelievable. Must I say more?**

**6. Riley passing out. I did this for a reason. Mainly because I find it sickening the way authors of Mary-Sue stories write the fight scenes and I would just puke if I had to do that, but also because I've often seen in such stories that the OFC is all talk but not action. She'll throw insults around like confetti on the 4****th**** of July but when she's faced with actually fighting a Soc, she's weak and basically useless. In my friend's words: a cry baby bitch. Also, girls would never be in fights back in the 60's and even today its not something you see everyday. A guy having the guts to beat up a girl like that back then is unlikely too. **

**7. The fact that the Soc was Bob. Why must everyone use Bob as the stereo typed bad guy? I mean, yeah, he was pretty much the main villain in The Outsiders, along with death, but why must everyone use Bob? He just happened to be a Soc that the gang ran into that night. **

**8. Riley waking up at the Curtis'. A typical event that occurs in Mary-Sue stories. Also, the fact that they were ALL WATCHING HER SLEEP! The hell? Because a group of boys would bring some girl they just met, who got beat up in a fight, home to SLEEP in their HOUSE and worry themselves sick about her well being. Not only is this unsafe for the gang because they really don't know anything about her but, also unsafe for Riley as well. She doesn't know theses guys. Yet again, I'm going to call rape alert. **

**Well thank you guys for reading chapter 2, please R&R! **


	3. Showing too much and I mean too much

**Thanks again for the reviews! Sorry I didn't update last weekend! I was out all weekend and then I got grounded so yeah…lol. Enjoy chapter 3!**

"Sure, I'll take you home. Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Soda offered. My head did hurt immensely and my gut ached. Maybe I'd have to stay here for a while.

"Can I just stay here for a little while? Until my head ache gets better?" I asked, unsure. The whole gang's face lit up.

"Of course you can!" they exclaimed.

"I'll get breakfast started!" Ponyboy offered and made his way to the kitchen.

Everything was going great until I looked down and my clothes were all dirty and ripped. My father would be upset that I got my clothes dirty. "Just great,.." I mumbled sarcastically. "My clothes look like shit."

"I think you still look great." Soda complemented, smiling at me. By then, the gang had dispersed throughout the house and was in the kitchen with Ponyboy. I felt myself blush.

"Thanks, Soda. But do you have anything that would fit me?"

"Actually, I think I might. Come with me," Soda said, helping me to my feet. I followed him to his room. As we entered, he closed the door behind us. I wondered why. I saw him pull out a bundle of girlish clothes from a dresser drawer. "Try these on," he said, winking at me and tossing the pile of clothes my way. I looked down at them and they appeared to be my size. I was about to pull my shirt off when I realized Soda was staring at me.

"Turn around." I demanded him.

"What's the matter? I cant see you change?"

"No."

"Well that's too bad. Why do you think I closed the door?"

"Soda," I muttered as he stood close to me. "Please turn around."

"Fine."

Once Soda had turned around, I pulled out a bright pink halter top. It had darker pink around it's edges. It ruffled my hair as I pulled it over my head and face and it hugged my body tightly. It was low cut and exposed cleavage from my _enormous_ and _luscious _breasts which, I will admit, I was proud of. It covered the tattoo I had on my lower back of a pistol wrapped in the stem of a rose.

Next was the shorts. They were white with fringes and ripped at the bottom for affect. They were quite short and ended at my upperthigh, exposing my _long _and _smooth_ legs. The back also clung tightly to my overly large rear end. The rest of me was super thin so the clothes looked really good on me, I thought. I used an elastic I had around my wrist to pull my hair back and I was still wearing my black converse from before to top everything off.

When I turned around, I realized Soda hadbeen looking the whole time. It didn't seem to bother me though. His face turned beat red when he saw me.

"Wow, Riles, you look good." he told me. I took his hand and we met everyone else in the kitchen. When everyone saw me, they had the same reaction.

As I sat down to eat, Dally leaned towards my ear and whispered, "Nice tits, Riley." I was too stunned to say anything. Before I could even think about what I was going to do, someone knocked at the door.

"I'll get it." I offered as I opened it. To my shock, it was Bob and his soc friends.

"Hey, Riley. Lookin' good." he hissed, his eyes locked on my **(if you didn't catch it the first time ;P )** _enormous_ and _luscious, _and lets not forget _protruding_ breasts.

"You better get outta here, Bob!" Two-Bit yelled from the kitchen as he came to join me at the door.

"Not today, grease!" he sneered, grabbing me by my arms and pulling me with him as his friends dragged me away.

**I have a feeling this is going to be fun (:**

**1. The convenience of her having to stay. OF COURSE she has to stay. In a house with a bunch of guys she's just met? Sure, why not? The fates must've predicted it!**

**2. Her dressing in Soda's clothes. Its ironic actually, I read this in a really bad Mary-Sue story a long time ago where Soda actually gives her clothes to wear from his dresser! It made me laugh, I mean, what do they think he is, a cross dresser?**

**3. Soda's OOC. Very often in Mary-Sue stories, most, if not all, of the characters are very much OOC (out of character). I did that on purpose to Soda. He seemed like a dirt little **_**Saukerl**_** didn't he? A pig boy! That's something that I think Dally or one of the Shepard brothers would try to pull. From what I've gathered from reading The Outsiders, Soda does like his ladies but he's respectful of them and knows the boundaries. **

**4. The clothes. Oh, the clothes. This was actually quite a laugh. I mentioned before in the first chapter, how I've seen Mary-Sue fics go into three paragraph detail about what their character. Unless you're into fashion, I honestly don't think anyone gives two shits about what your character is wearing and is wishing you'd just hurry the hell up already with the damn story! And, the style of the clothes is another thing. Guys, lets remind ourselves that this is the 60's and NOT 2012 where teens go around, dressed like they should be working the street corner! And I mean, why would Soda even have those clothes anyway? I see this SO often in Mary-Sue stories where the OFC is dressed like a damned hooker! For Riley, I have one word: HO!**

**5. Her body. Okay, I don't know what you guys thought but I was laughing out loud when I was writing the details about her body and, yes, her ENORMOUS and LUSCOUS and PROTRUDING breasts! I'm sorry but what the hell is that? And her OVERLY LARGE rear end? I just had a really good laugh writing this. Its ironic too because in Mary-Sue fics they make their OFC have the perfect Barbie body, double D jugs and the whole shebang. And just the fact that she had to be skinny, you know? Not only did I capture the complete irony but I'm pretty sure I kept the male readers quite entertained, did I not? ;P**

**6. Her tattoo. This was not a tremendous outrage but enough to make you face palm. I'd go through the whole exhausting thing about how tattoos weren't very popular back then and how it was unheard of for a woman to have a tattoo,, but I think we all get it. And just that fact that it had to be a pistol. I mean, anything that screams **_**badass**_**, right? ;D**

**7. Dally's dirty comment. Ok, guys, lets get real for a minute please? While we all know Dally is somewhat of a **_**man whore **_**with his ladies, we all know that sometimes bitches gotta be smacked! Well, Riley happens to be one of the bitches ;P But in all seriousness, while Dally's comment was completely uncalled for, Riley kind of had it coming. Just saying. **

**8. When Riley answered the door. I mean, who goes to someone's house and then answers their door? Well it could be understandable if this was a high school party where half the school comes and trashes the poor person's house or if you knew the person really well and you're at their house 24/7, which Riley was neither. **

**9. The kid-napping. Or the hoe-napping ;D Of course Bob had to come back to get the girl. What kind of Soc would he be, otherwise? While I haven't seen this specific thing (the OFC getting kidnapped from the Curtis house) happen in Mary-Sue stories, although I'm sure it has been used as I've read others where the OFC is kidnapped from her home, the park and the alley, getting kidnapped from the Curtis house by the soc who likes her yet hates her social class is just something that you'd expect from a classic Mary-Sue story. And holy crap that was a long sentence! XD Anyway, I think we all know what's coming next at this point.**

**Thanks for reading! Please R&R I really appreciate it!**


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